Tuesday, January 22nd was one of the worst days of my life. It was around noon...I was in a first grade classroom when the panic and paranoia set in...."Stacey, it's okay! Don't freak yourself out...there is nothing wrong with you. Stop thinking about it, you are only making things worse." I kept talking to myself...then I decided to talk to the Lord," Please, God...don't let this be happening to me...." Then a little later there was no denying it. You see, a little over a year ago when I was doing my Kindergarten internship I began to think of the chance of this unthinkable thing happening to me. I even literally had an outright mental break down...on the phone with my Daddy, and I seriously thought he was going to fly to Houston and get me (this was when Ryan was living in VA). I mean I have heard stories of this happening....it's common, and it happens to every teacher at some point in their career.....but the Lord knows it is one of my top 3 BIGGEST fears (right behind heights and in front of homeless people). But....my research of this topic during my previous mental breakdown led me to know that every one of my symptoms confirmed my suspicions. It had happened to me!!!!! I had head lice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "Breathe Stacey...Breathe! There are children in here...you cannot cry. You have to go on....you cannot freak out just yet....BREATHE!" (This is me talking to myself again)....so after a close second mental break down and nearly hyperventilating I tried to go on about my day....I only had an hour left.
Then the kids walked out the door.....and me...well, I FREAKED OUT! I went and bought the kit.....and as I washed my hair I just cried.....I was shaking.....and this is what I thought...seriously...."I have never wanted to drink.....never desired to be drunk....but if it would help me to forget what was happening...I would almost do it." Of course, I did not....maybe only because I had to spend 4 1/2 hours combing out my hair with a special 2 inch tiny comb....and I had no time to go get the "forget all my worries supplies." And people...do you know how thick my hair is??? This was miserable! I have to do a second application of it all on Monday just to ensure they did not come back (the thought literally just made me cringe). And....I am seriously considering cutting my hair before having to comb it out again! The only think keeping me from cutting it super short tomorrow is the fear that the hair stylist might say, "Oh, My Gosh, There is something in your hair!" So, I don't know what I am going to do just yet!
I even said (and I hate to admit this), "I cannot believe God let this happen to me." In the heat of the crisis that did not dawn on me how shallow my claim was....but now I can't believe I said that! Anyway, Ryan has not hugged me since Tuesday(I can't say I blame him)...and I am not sleeping in the newly cleaned bed with him.
I beg you ...PRAY HARD that they are gone forever! I also cannot believe I am sharing this on my blog. But....now that I have spent all this time writing, I'd hate to press the delete button....so, do me a favor....don't think I am gross....please and pray for me!