.....Last night this was what I wrote in my prayer journal...and I really just wanted to share it.
Father it happened again. It was a feeling that I felt in every inch of my soul. It's a feeling that confuses me...but it's from you, I know.
She turned her head a little different than mine. Cerebral Palsey was the first thing that came to my mind. On her wrist was a tatoo that spoke of something so bold . The ink spelled"courage"...and her story it told. A beautiful picture of God's amazing grace. I can only imagine the trials she's gone though, but still she smiles and runs after you. This girl she wants to serve the needy, the hurt, and the broken. Wow God...in her very words your love was spoken. But why God does it affect me in sich an intense way. I don't know what to do with these feelings, I don't know what to say. All I know is that I long to lover her...to make her feel special, treasured, and adored. I want er to feel normal in a way that she's never felt before. So God, show me! What can I do? I want to somehow use this passion for you. It's your love they need, your affection they seek, but God is it possible to give it though me?? How Lord? When and Where? Show me the way, because it's really not fair.
It's not fair that I get to move my body with ease. It's not right that I don't get people staring curioiusly at me. Why her God? Why has she had to suffer? It's not just her God, there are so many others. I want to be a light...a Barnabus in the night. I want to be their friend. Just tell me God...do you want to use me in the lives of the sick, the scared and the broken.....show me how God...please allow doors to open.