I cannot survive this ordinary life.
I was not created for an ordinary life.
That pretty much summed up what God has been speaking into my life over the past 4 years. As much as I would love to think of living in a nice big house, with nice furniture, cute clothes, nice neighborhood, nice car.....each time I think of it, I almost get sick. Not that there is anything wrong with having nice things and a nice comfortable life, but because over the past few years God has repeatedly told me that I have not been created to live an ordinary life, but an original and extraordinary life. Over and over He is telling me that this life that I am living is not about me. I have to do more...I have to serve more, love more, help more, befriend more. I have to get out of my comfort zones...give over my dreams of living in MS owning my own little boutique. I was created for something more. Recently I finished up the Beth Moore Daniel study, and something she said in that study will stick with me forever. She said, "You can live your entire life as saved as you can be, and yet miss your calling...miss God's purpose for you." Whoa...That's what I never want to do. When I start feeling too comfortable and content with my surroundings, life, relationships....I want to re-evaluate. I don't want to just be saved. I can't just be saved. There are passions burning so strongly within me that I like that song said cannot survive living an ordinary life!!!
There are two huge passions that burn deep within my soul...one is my passion to somehow serve God overseas in a place where people need to experience the love of Christ...where they have never had that opportunity. The second passion is a burning desire to work with, rescue, love, and adopt orphans...of every ethnicity and race. For three years, I have prayed and prayed about these passions. I honestly felt like God was going to send us to China through Exxon because that would allow me to combine both passions that I know are God given desires. Just recently Ryan and I found out where we will more than likely be in a year from now. I knew on this particular day Ryan would be talking with his boss and would find out where we would be. So, I called Ryan as soon as my students were dismissed and awaited to hear him say where we were going....my heart was hoping it would be overseas next....(preferably China) but my mind was saying it would probably be a US assignment. Then he told me and I just laughed!!!! QATAR. I got off of the phone, pulled down my giant classroom map and found Qatar (in the middle east). I just giggled and giggled...."Really God, Qatar??" My mind was in the state of giddiness because His fingerprints are allllll over this. Growing up in the south and in the Bible belt, I learned a lot about witnessing and evangelizing...and then God moved me to Texas...and then to LA...where step by step He has been drawing me so near to Him. I have learned how different the world is outside of the south. I have learned that Christians are stereotyped majorly. I have learned that we are known for the things we hate and the kinds of people we hate (I know we don't really hate anyone...but they see it that way). These people need love, relationships, friendships different than any friendship they have ever experienced. And God has been teaching us this in amazing ways. And he is taking us to a place where evangelism is out of the question for the most part. But loving people, building friendships, and relationships is the only way we can really impact these people. Whoa!!!!! I cannot wait!
I just wanted to share these things that have been on my heart!