So...for me writing is a release. It's the way I best express myself and my emotions. This must be why I pray mostly in writing in a prayer journal. If I am trying to express something of importance to Ryan, it's more effective when communicated through writing. ...And today...this post is for no one or no reason other than to gain closure and grieve over the loss of my precious Chlo Bug. So, if no one reads it...that will be just fine. If someone does read it, they may not relate to any of this...But, my heart needs this in order to start letting go and say good bye.
Chloe Jane Biscuit Webb
June 20th, 2004-March 31st, 2011
"Stacey, you have got to stop crying and being so sad. Maybe you should get a dog." This was my mom's advice to me on a long distance telephone call from Houston, Texas to West, Misssissippi shortly after marrying and moving away from everything familair. I was homesick...A LOT! My mom has given me lots of adivice, and this just might be some of the best she's ever given me. The search began for a puppy, a companion, a best friend, a baby. Mama actually found an ad for Chloe in a paper in Mississippi and drove a few hours to pick her up for me. I always loved that our whole family (Ryan, Myself, and Chlo-Bug) were all born in the great magnolia state. I remember anxiously awaiting an e-mail from mama containing pictures of Chloe Jane Biscuit. We excitedly opened the e-mail entitled "Congratulations on your baby girl" and instantly fell in love with a golden brown ball of fur....my little girl. Over the next several months my homesick heart began to heal with the help of Chlo-Bug. We went to parks together, went to the pet store, played all kinds of games. We had quiet time together. She listened to me read the Bible, sat beside me as I watched tv, and listened to every thought that entered my mind. She had become "my little girl" and my best friend. Months turned to years and the friendship and love only grew stronger. Chloe became quite the traveler. She went from Mississippi to Texas, from Texas to Virginia, from Virginia to California, and from California to Louisiana. As much as I enjoy moving and making new friends along the way, every move has contained a period of time where I went through a sad spell. I was uncomfortable in my new surroundings, lonely because I didn't know anyone, and mourning the loss of friendships left behind. But one friend stayed constant and loyal through it all...that was Chloe. She continued to listen to me complain, let me hold her close and play with her hair while I cried....it was in these sad moments that she never wanted to leave my side. I always told her that God made her just for me...that everything about her was everything I needed. I believe that, too. I know that most believe that animals don't have souls....and I guess there is no way of really knowing the answer to that. But I do know that Chloe had a way of reading my emotions and speaking to my heart...not just speaking to my heart but ministering to it somehow. Letting her go has been so hard. The days following her "Vet Appointment" were so hard. I can still see her, hear her...and sometimes I can still smell her :). I don't want to dwell on her death but rejoice over her life. Thank you Lord, for making the most perfect dog for me....and giving me 7 years with her. Thank you Chloe Jane Biscuit Webb for loving me unconditionally. You will forever be loved and missed.