A tribute to Chlo-Bug

So...for me writing is a release. It's the way I best express myself and my emotions. This must be why I pray mostly in writing in a prayer journal. If I am trying to express something of importance to Ryan, it's more effective when communicated through writing. ...And today...this post is for no one or no reason other than to gain closure and grieve over the loss of my precious Chlo Bug. So, if no one reads it...that will be just fine. If someone does read it, they may not relate to any of this...But, my heart needs this in order to start letting go and say good bye.

Chloe Jane Biscuit Webb

June 20th, 2004-March 31st, 2011

"Stacey, you have got to stop crying and being so sad. Maybe you should get a dog." This was my mom's advice to me on a long distance telephone call from Houston, Texas to West, Misssissippi shortly after marrying and moving away from everything familair. I was homesick...A LOT! My mom has given me lots of adivice, and this just might be some of the best she's ever given me. The search began for a puppy, a companion, a best friend, a baby. Mama actually found an ad for Chloe in a paper in Mississippi and drove a few hours to pick her up for me. I always loved that our whole family (Ryan, Myself, and Chlo-Bug) were all born in the great magnolia state. I remember anxiously awaiting an e-mail from mama containing pictures of Chloe Jane Biscuit. We excitedly opened the e-mail entitled "Congratulations on your baby girl" and instantly fell in love with a golden brown ball of fur....my little girl. Over the next several months my homesick heart began to heal with the help of Chlo-Bug. We went to parks together, went to the pet store, played all kinds of games. We had quiet time together. She listened to me read the Bible, sat beside me as I watched tv, and listened to every thought that entered my mind. She had become "my little girl" and my best friend. Months turned to years and the friendship and love only grew stronger. Chloe became quite the traveler. She went from Mississippi to Texas, from Texas to Virginia, from Virginia to California, and from California to Louisiana. As much as I enjoy moving and making new friends along the way, every move has contained a period of time where I went through a sad spell. I was uncomfortable in my new surroundings, lonely because I didn't know anyone, and mourning the loss of friendships left behind. But one friend stayed constant and loyal through it all...that was Chloe. She continued to listen to me complain, let me hold her close and play with her hair while I cried....it was in these sad moments that she never wanted to leave my side. I always told her that God made her just for me...that everything about her was everything I needed. I believe that, too. I know that most believe that animals don't have souls....and I guess there is no way of really knowing the answer to that. But I do know that Chloe had a way of reading my emotions and speaking to my heart...not just speaking to my heart but ministering to it somehow. Letting her go has been so hard. The days following her "Vet Appointment" were so hard. I can still see her, hear her...and sometimes I can still smell her :). I don't want to dwell on her death but rejoice over her life. Thank you Lord, for making the most perfect dog for me....and giving me 7 years with her. Thank you Chloe Jane Biscuit Webb for loving me unconditionally. You will forever be loved and missed.

FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK...

On Tuesday, I took my students to the Pumpkin Patch. We all picked pumpkins and I put them plastic grocery sacks and we brought them back to school. We sat them on the patio, so we did not trip over them all day in the classroom, but when we left school it was flooding and we had to run out of the classroom into the rain. So, I told the kids to leave the pumpkins there until tomorrow. I told them water was good for pumpkins anyway. As I walked out of my room to go home, I noticed one of the students also left her apple from lunch in the sack. So, the next morning, one of my little boys runs in the room and says, "Mrs. Webb one of the pumkins growed a baby!!!"....I said, "What??" And he replied, "ONE OF THE PUMPKINS GROWED A BABY LAST NIGHT!!" I just started laughing and said, "Come here Ayden...let me show you...the pumpkin did not actually grow a baby, Bailey just happened to leave her apple in the bag with her pumpkin, but you are soooo funny!!" He smiled sweetly, but did not find the moment as funny as I did!

Me...a football fan?

So, for Ryan's 30th birthday I bought him season tickets to Mississippi State's football games. Even though I was a cheerleader I have never gotten into football until now. I have loved going to the games with Ryan and have found myself becoming a football fan. There are a couple of things that I have discovered about myself though. I hate watching the guys drop the ball (I think that is called a fumble..haha), not because it makes me mad. I hate it because it makes my heart hurt. Literally, I feel such pain for those guys because thousands of people are yelling at them from the stands and I guarantee you they did not do it on purpose and feel bad enough about it already. I also hate when the fans leave when we are losing. I also hate to see anybody lose because I can only imagine how disapointed the losing team feels. I am not a competitor, I knew this already...I made more friends than points in every sport I ever played. But, despite the heartache I experience for the players who mess up, I am enjoying the atmosphere. It seems like we are driving back to Mississippi for games every weekend. So, I thought I'd share a little bit of that with you.

Finding the Blessings...

I have often used the word "sweet" to describe God. I even made my small group do a whole weeks worth of study identifying the sweetness of God. I could not get over the reactions I had. I think some people thought I was crazy....they could not think of how God was sweet. Well, today I was reminded of just how sweet God is to me. As many of you know, I've been struggling to like living here. I love our house and neighborhood, but never venture out too much (cause there's not a whole lot to do). Well, my favorite store in the world (stay with me here) is a store called Dirt Cheap. They carry lots of Target and other fun stores things but really cheap, and sometimes slightly damaged. They have these in Mississippi....and wow, I just love them. My best purchases so far are Vera Wang and HOTEL bedding for cheap, gap khakis for 25 Cents and an anthropologie pillow for $2. Well, it just so happens that they just opened a brand new one about 15 minutes away from my home. I went today and bought some bedding (photos to come soon) for our guest room. As I arrived in the store, my heart was beating so excitedly that my legs and eyes could not keep up. I was driving home in bliss thinking of my purchase, and excited about the replenishing of my discretionary funds next month...when it hit me. I think God put that store there just for me. That was his way of brightening up my days here. He knew I needed something...and he gave me a store, not just any store...DIRT CHEAP, my favorite store!!

....what a great ending to a day....


Highlights of the past few weeks:

* Ryan and I have had a fun time going to all of Mississippi State's home football games. We are enjoying the time together (well, I am enjoying the time together, Ryan is probably enjoying the football).

*There is lice in my classroom (or on 2 heads in my classroom). I am not surprised! It's my number 2 fear in life and God is obviously trying to work on this one. I am constantly performing self lice examinations on myself though, pretty obnoxious.

*Chloe Jane Biscuit Webb is officially blind. The poor baby can't see and runs into stuff a lot! It breaks my heart!

*I got to cuddle with my niece Anna Jaymes last week. After she fell asleep with my mom and dad, Mama put her in the bed with me and I loved waking up and feeling her there. There were only two problems, 1. She woke up saying, "tee tee" and then I felt the soaking wet sheets. Then as we got up I saw problem number 2....you see, I tend to play with peoples hair in my sleep (not that I sleep with lots of people...haha. only my husband, and occasionally my mama or jenni, jodi, and donna). Apparently, I had played with the toddler's hair all night long, and all in one or two spots. Well, when sweet little Anna Jaymes was walking in front of me, I saw what looked like a resemblence of a birds nest in the back of her head. So....ummm, I tried to brush it and wet it...and it never went back to normal. So, I sent her down to Donna and Robbie's and blamed her bad hair on the rain outside! Now, I confess...it was actually all my fault. Sorry, Anna Jaymes...Aunt Stacey really did not mean to make you look like that.

It's been a while.....

It is time for me to begin updating. I can't promise regular updates but I am going to try to be better. So much has happened in my life in the past few months that I can't tell you about it all...so let me do it in the form of highlights.

So, we left California....and it was emotional for me. I sat on the airplane next to a guy around my age and began crying before ever taking off from Los Angeles. The poor guy felt awkward I know as he sat and listened to me cry. I dreaded take off, I did not want to have to watch the city of angels, the city that I had come to love so much, fade away from my sight and life. God, being the sweet and compassionate God that He is threw a blanket of clouds over the city early that morning....and I never saw once glimpse of anything but glorious clouds. After that emotional flight....things sped up in our lives. We looked for and found a house within 4 days. We fell head over heels in love with our realtor, "Miss Reba." We spent 30 days living in 2 hotels, both of our parents houses in Mississippi, and a cabin on Enid Lake. By the time our house closed we had both began work in Baton Rouge and were feeling very unsettled and ready to have a home. We moved in our house....and we love it. We have lots of things on the to do list ...and it just keeps getting longer. To be honest, when we moved I began to really pray for Ryan. I was worried that the adjustment might be hard for him, because he loved his job in Torrance so much. I thought that me, being as easy going as I am :) would have no problem adjusting to a new life. But, I was wrong. Ryan is doing great. I on the other hand have had a few break downs where I just cry. I miss California and almost every aspect of our lives there (with the exception of our last living situation). So, pray for me....please. This has been one of the hardest transitions yet.

I started work at my new school August 3rd. I really miss my old school. Everything is very different. One thing that is different is that I am now teaching kindergarten. I really enjoy my class. Here is one of the highlights of our move: I actually have 4 NON-ENGLISH speakers in my classroom. Zip, Zilch, Zero, Nada English. Although this isn't rare for Los Angeles, it is VERY rare for Central, Louisiana. I love them so much. These 4 children are the highlight of my days for multiple reasons. One is that they symbolize so much for me. You see, when we found at that we were coming to Baton Rouge and not going overseas I pitched a fit with God. I wanted to be in China working in an orphanage, and I did not want to go back to the south, where it's the opposite of diverse. The diversity in L.A. was one of my favorite things about the city. So....God sent me to Baton Rouge and brought the Chinese orphans and diversity to me. He's reminding me that He has a plan. So two of my children came form China less than a month or so ago. Two recently came from Mexico. One of the Chinese students is a little girl. Her parents sent her and her little sister to America with another Chinese family who opened up a resturant in our city. I see this little girl, as my orphaned China Baby....and I am madly in love with her and these 4 other children who are new to our country. Now, I also like my other 16 students..haha...but some of them are so bad that I want to cry. So, this is another reason these 4 EL's are blessing to my life.

Oh, and one of my kiddos has the Swine Flu.....yikes! So, in closing...here are some pics of our house.

...Just don'tknow what to do with my life...

.....Last night this was what I wrote in my prayer journal...and I really just wanted to share it.



Father it happened again. It was a feeling that I felt in every inch of my soul. It's a feeling that confuses me...but it's from you, I know.
She turned her head a little different than mine. Cerebral Palsey was the first thing that came to my mind. On her wrist was a tatoo that spoke of something so bold . The ink spelled"courage"...and her story it told. A beautiful picture of God's amazing grace. I can only imagine the trials she's gone though, but still she smiles and runs after you. This girl she wants to serve the needy, the hurt, and the broken. Wow God...in her very words your love was spoken. But why God does it affect me in sich an intense way. I don't know what to do with these feelings, I don't know what to say. All I know is that I long to lover her...to make her feel special, treasured, and adored. I want er to feel normal in a way that she's never felt before. So God, show me! What can I do? I want to somehow use this passion for you. It's your love they need, your affection they seek, but God is it possible to give it though me?? How Lord? When and Where? Show me the way, because it's really not fair.
It's not fair that I get to move my body with ease. It's not right that I don't get people staring curioiusly at me. Why her God? Why has she had to suffer? It's not just her God, there are so many others. I want to be a light...a Barnabus in the night. I want to be their friend. Just tell me God...do you want to use me in the lives of the sick, the scared and the broken.....show me how God...please allow doors to open.

From the mouth of 1st graders to thepages of my blog...

My students are currently making a Recipe for a perfect Mom. We were brainstorming ideas and I said "Patience." Of course the response is..."What is patience?" I explained what it is and then my extra grace required child says, "My mom doesn't need patience cause we don't be bad to her." I laughed hysterically because coming from this child's mouth it was comical ....she requires more patience than I have some days. However this led to the comment of another student saying, " My mom is not patient. Not when I am trying to use the bathroom." ....and then another student says, "My mom takes a whole hour just to use the bathroom." The conversation then turned to gas and one little girl says, " Mrs. Webb, Why don't teachers fart in the classroom?" All of this happened within 3 minutes and I realized how quickly 22 first graders can get off task and run with it. I laughed hysterically for about 30 seconds and then threatened the next one that said "Fart" with a trip to the office!!!

I don't know how we ever get anything done!